October 22, 2014

shut up , stop complaining .

I resisted the urge to scream and cry about my weight gain  couple days ago (?)
I weigh myself once a week ( to be exact : sunday , wake up-went to toilet , before performing my subuh prayer )
I eat some fast food on Saturday because the urge to get them on my mouth since 3/4 months I didn't get any of them .
and *toop* suddenly I gain 1.4 kgs more than the week before . 
oh gosh . I've been eating healthy for some couple of month then I felt like it gain nothing good for me .
I eat healthy then how come the result still the same .

I've been exercising and eating health but nothing feels different .
I still feel my tummy bloating , my thigh "swollen" , my arm as big as kayu balak .


I'm too stress with this matter .

because ,
I am fat 
I got the urge to cut down my weigh ,
I want to be healthy and strong inside and outside .
I am too stressed out with my current problem ,
ans I think I need recovery ,
and the only recovery is ,
I need weight loss 

I hate when people calling me fat
when you are eating the only meal you got for the whole day at 7pm and people say
" you are fat you need to stop eating " 
seriously WTF are you thinking I need to stop eating when that is actually the only meal you got to eat for the whole day .

you need to do this ,
you need to do that ,
you cannot do this ,
you cannot do that ,
it hurts me when people calling me fat
they don't even know what I did behind every fu*king single day .


I still got 10kg more to achieve my goal . 
thats a lot , I know , " stop complaining , start supporting " 
that's all

=="

062014 - 102014





May 22, 2014

little by little , a little becomes a lot




susah sekarang nak cari orang terima kita seadanya . love me for who I am .

terasa nak cari time traveller machine satu and travel time .

lagi satu , susah nak cari orang nak sokong kita buat sesuatu .

for example ; aku nak kurus

susah nak cari orang bagi kita kata semangat .
lagi orang kutuk kita ada lah
kau tak boleh susah nak tinggal makanan kau suka punya
eleh kau nak work out , work out dalam mimpi jelah


kau ingat aku tak terasa ke .
kau tak tahu apa usaha aku dah buat selama ni .
kau takpe lahir-lahir dah skinny . tak payah risau

sebelum nak label seseorang tu fikir 18 kali usaha orang tu .

kau ingat senang nak diet ni
susah kau tahu tak

to say no to carbonated drinks which is I lovee the most expecially coke
to say no to sugary things like chocolate I didin't eat this much tho

anddd

to say yes to green tea , oolong tea , bunch of vegetables and fruits
3L of plain water everyday .

to control your carbs per day
to calculate every single things you eat .
to go jogging every single day



kau ingat seronok semua tu ? SUMPAH aku cakap memang tak seronok

tapi bila lama-lama aku try slowly change my lifestyle .
semua tu jadi favorite .

now I can say no to junk food
say no to fizzy drinks and rice .

its not that I do not eat rice at all , cuba kena control amount dia .
macam aku cakap dekat atas tu calculate your kcal in every food you take .

memang susah tapi bila dah jadi kebiasaan benda tu dah tak sukar bagi kau .

lagi satu work out
jogging , walking , jump rope , stretching , sit up .

SEKSA WEHH SEKSA
percaya cakap aku mula-mula aku start memang seksa yang amat .



time aku sem 6 aritu memang super duper busy and hectic life .
tidur sehari tak sampai 4 jam . project bertimbun .
hari aku boleh tidur lama pun hari jumaat sebabnya tak ada kelas . sabtu and ahad back to normal . siapkan final project , drawings , report , and so on .

time tu memang aku tak ada masa nak exercise langsung .
kadang-kadang aku curi-curi masa jugak sabtu or jumaat untuk jogging dalam 2 round dekat tasik UTP tu .
tu kalau takde program lain yang ganggu tempoh waktu tu la .
hujung sem tu pulak ( pengujung bulan 3 )
aku jatuh tangga dekat FSPU punya blok . sedaplah jugak aku jatuh tu terpeleot .
it takes me almost 2 months to fully recover from the what we call seliuh in english eh . hahaha




so aku baru je mula balik dalam 3 minggu lepas . tak larat weh .
mula-mula aku slowly walking 1 pusingan . pergi walking pun selang 2 hari sebab peha kejang ( peha besar biasa la urat kejang tu )
lepas 2 minggu macam tu . dalam 5 kali walking , aku try jogging selang 2 minit . which is 2 minit jogging , 2 minit jalan . pandai-pandai la kau kira saat dia tu .
time ni aku dah start jogging hari-hari .
aku jumpa cara baru nak jogging which is guna lagu dekat mp3 player kau . kau letak lagu kau dalam mood shuffle , then 1 lagu kau jogging , the next song kau amik nafas balik .

so sekarang aku dah tambah 2-3 round . tapi still guna cara 1 lagu jogging the next song jalan . gilir-gilir camtu since my metabolism is not that tough . hahaha

eh panjang aku bebel ni .
point aku padahal nak cakap jangan perlekehkan usaha orang . tapi tu la merapu sampai benda lain banyak ni .

TAPI point aku korang faham kan ? jangan perlekehkan usaha orang . JANGAN SESEKALI SAYA ULANG.

mungkin kau tak nampak kesan daripada kata-kata kau .

jujur aku cakap aku terluka dengar orang cakap camtu . sangat terluka .

sebab kau dah try hard tapi orang perlekehkan kau .

ni aku bukan nak burukkan orang tapi contoh dia
aku control amount makanan aku makan diaorang cakap " makan la ni nasi " padahal aku tengah diet nasi .
lepas tu aku cakap tengah diet "hahahaha tak kurus-kurus jugak"

so kau expect diet sehari terus turun 18kg ? camtu ?

HELLO aku amik masa 6 bulan time practical untuk turun 12 kg . kau ingat senang ?
lepas dah turun 12kg aku masuk final sem aku slowly gain 2kg for the first month , another 3kg for the second and third month andd another 2kg for the couple of next month . so total aku gain balik 7kg .

weh kau ingat aku tak kecewa aku naik 7kg balik . hoi sedih oi bila kenang usaha aku dulu . TOLONG PLEASE TOLONG JANGAN PERSENDAKAN USAHA ORANG LAIN .

I'M TOTALLY WORKING MY ASS OUT YOU KNOW !!